Goodbye 2009, hello 2010!
This year has been a hard yet rewarding, difficult yet enjoyable one. I know I am incredibly blessed. I am rich beyond reason compared to those in poverty. I have toys, food, an apartment of my own, a widescreen, a few computers, a wii, a couple of versions of the bible, and way more, definitely more that I simply forget in all my material wealth.
And I have the most valuable thing there is: Jesus Christ’s atonement for my sin.
A friend asked if I was happy the other day. The kind of question put in that kind of way, the kind of way that you know you can’t weasel out of. I made my best effort at weaseling out, though.
I don’t know what happiness is.
If fleeting moments of enjoyment and the rare moment of true joy throughout the year amidst the hassle of life, if that’s happiness than I guess I have it. So that other pervasive, gnawing, dull pained emptiness, I don’t know how to express that in the light of all that God has blessed me with.
To say that I am unhappy in this sea of blessing is, at best, ungrateful and, at worst, reckless abandonment of humility.
To say I am happy, on the other hand, is making an unsound claim.
So, if you ask me if I’m happy, I don’t know how to honestly answer.
I think I will simply say thank you to my God and saviour and ask him if I can be his servant, as one purchased out of slavery with no means to repay in the slightest.