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The Twitter House Rules

Posted on April 25, 2026April 20, 2026 by Shovas

The Twitter House Rules

Thou shalt seek likes for views

Thou shalt share images and not links lest tweeps be tempted outside the fold

Thou shalt comment on Popular Accounts to pump your rookie numbers

Thou shalt not pop your social bubble to cavort with heathen out groups

Thou shalt not make a search lest you be exposed to contrary ways and thoughts

Thou shalt spell correctly lest you do anything interesting with the language such as the contemptible Shakespeares, Miltons, and Brownings

Thou shalt pay up for Twitter Blue frequently and enthusiastically so that the Algorithm looks with kindness upon your low head and refrains from taking your voice from your mouth

Do these faithfully so that by them you may learn to submit as is your place and live in your rank and class under His Beneficence Elon Doge King Musk

These are the Twitter House Rules

Submit and subsist

This is the way

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