This post is a very rough sketch of ideas and may include unfinished, incomplete, or erroneous ideas that will later be corrected. This post will be part of a series that will form the basis of a new book I’m writing following on the themes of my last book, Thoughts From Reconstruction. All of these themes center around the New Covenant. You can find everything published so far in this series on the Highlights page under the My Most Important section.
Multiple Spouses
Throughout history, the practice of polygamy, multiple spouses, has been relatively common. It has been more commonly accepted for men to have more than one wife at the same time (polygyny), and, while quite rare, a woman with more than one husband at the same time (polyandry), does occur [1]. Some cultures and geographical regions practice monogamy (single spouse) and polygamy to greater or lesser degrees over history. Many cultures largely upheld a general form of monogamy, if not in law then in practice, but the advent and spread of Christianity has done much to cement the idea of monogamy around the world. But how do we understand what precisely is the ‘rule’ when the Bible, itself, records polygamy, even Godly examples, and does not plainly prescribe monogamy into law?
But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. -Mark 10:6-9
In this exchange, Jesus was responding to a question about divorce and, in response, He not only provides the answer to the divorce question but provides the model of what God intended “from the beginning.” A man leaves his parents and holds fast to his wife, singular. It is curious, though, that, just like with the divorce question, nothing is taken away and no new rule is given, Jesus simply tells us the way it should be. Jesus is pointing to the ideal for marriage, where the Greatest Commandment can be most truly lived out between two people. Jesus is preparing our hearts for the New Covenant He is about to bring.
We can think of many obvious ways in which monogamy fulfills Love God and Love Neighbour. We love God in upholding His ideal, practicing a form of Holiness (setting apart one’s relationship from others), and upholding Biblical hierarchy, with Christ the head of the man and the man the head of the woman and family. We intuit obvious benefits for our spouse, our direct neighbour, in practicing singular, focused love. Monogamy is better than prostitution, physically, mentally, and spiritually. And we love our other neighbours by not taking more than our fair share of mates, thus allowing others to find a spouse and help grow and multiply a culture which embodies the Greatest Commandment. Still, monogamy is not prescribed. How should we see polygamy now?
We, of course, see polygamy under the New Covenant and the Greatest Commandment, to love God and neighbour. What is ideal should be the norm and we should never supplant what is ideal with what is the exception. Still, in a Fallen and Cursed world, a prescribed morality can fail to address all cases, as Jesus taught us was intended. The Law and Prophets was a prescription derived from the description of the Greatest Commandment and it was in the narrow focus on the prescription that lead to failing some cases on the margin.
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” -Matthew 22:37-40
When the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery to Jesus and asked Him what to do, they were testing whether He would uphold the prescription of the Law and Prophets, as they did. The way Jesus responded was, on the surface, clever but it was also a paradigm shifting moment. Jesus, even before He spoke of the New Covenant with His disciples, was showing those, with eyes to see and ears to hear, that there was a true law that upheld the Law and Prophets they knew. Jesus’ response to the Pharisees seems, if glossed over, like a clever circumvention of the Law and Prophets but it was really much more profound than that. Jesus was highlighting the True Law that “fulfills” the Law and Prophets: Love God and neighbour.
When Jesus then answered the Pharisees, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her,” he was demonstrating in action what they had previously asked him, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” (Matthew 22:36-4). How exactly did the Pharisees “witness” a woman caught in the act of adultery? They might have thought they loved God in following His commands, but did they love their neighbour, as well, waiting to catch the woman in the act, for their own selfish purposes? Jesus was providing for a case that was intended to be covered under the True Law but that was failing to be covered by the Pharisees under the Law and Prophets.
How do we see polygyny (multiple wives) and polyandry (multiple husbands) under the True Law? We have an intuitive sense that multiple wives may not be ideal but multiple husbands feels even less so. But, in terms of the True Law, how can we judge between them? We have relatively easy answer for Love God.
You shall not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14
That is, a man should not approach another man’s wife. In order to fulfill Love God, we ought to strive to uphold this law.
There is also the related pattern of prostitution that informs us.
“Do not defile your daughter by making her a prostitute, or the land will be filled with prostitution and wickedness.” (Leviticus 19:29)
Here we have a prescriptive law from God regarding a pattern of behaviour we can easily apply to a woman with multiple husbands: Just like a prostitute gives herself to many men, we see that a woman with multiple husbands manifests a similar pattern. We can reasonably judge that polyandry should, at the very least, not be made a norm and, where an exception might be granted, then exceptional circumstances should apply so that the defining characteristic is actually that Love Neighbour is fulfilled. Cultures who practice polyandry (which is exceedingly rare) may be ones in which resources are scarce and it is not beneficial or efficient to divide a family’s resources between their sons [2]. One might argue, in this case, that it is more loving of neighbour for a woman to marry multiple husbands.
This kind of reasoning, however, should be taken with great trepidation as the Dominion Mandate (‘be fruitful and multiply’) [3] in Genesis also includes the idea of dispersal throughout the Earth and the filling of it: That is, it is implied that peoples were to move away, mix with other peoples, and marry elsewhere: Importantly, they would find new resources that need not be competed over, alleviating the problem of scarce resources.
Finally, and perhaps most easily, a man must remember that love your neighbour was followed by as you love yourself. No man or woman truly wants to be shared by another. We all seek the ideal, exclusive love of another. Therefore, if you wouldn’t want your spouse to have multiple partners, you should model the ideal and not have multiple spouses for yourself.
Christians under the True Law of the New Covenant are freed to see polygamy through the lens of Love God and Love Neighbour. Fulfilling the former requires us to know God’s designs and mandates for men and women. Fulfilling the latter requires us to practice how we would like to treated in the light of what has been revealed to us from God and His Word. While we are freed under the New Covenant to a much simpler law, we must always remember that it is a much more demanding law.
Footnotes
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygamy
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyandry
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Be_fruitful_and_multiply
This series will continue. Please check back from time to time, if you’re interested in reading new parts as they become available. The entire series will be made available on the Highlights page under the My Most Important section as each part is published.