This post is a very rough sketch of ideas and may include unfinished, incomplete, or erroneous ideas that will later be corrected. This post will be part of a series that will form the basis of a new book I’m writing following on the themes of my last book, Thoughts From Reconstruction. All of these themes center around the New Covenant. You can find everything published so far in this series on the Highlights page under the My Most Important section.
Divorce and Re-Marriage
When asked by the Pharisees why Moses allowed divorce, Jesus told them Moses permitted divorce because people’s hearts were hard, but it wasn’t the intended design to allow for man and woman to separate. Jesus then tells them that a man sins if he divorces and re-marries for any reason except sexual immorality. It is noteworthy that Jesus doesn’t take away the option of divorce, He simply describes the state of a man who does divorce: They are in sin if they marry another woman, except if it is for sexual immorality. Jesus is not attempting to make a new rule here but to confirm, yet again, that the Law was insufficient for men to live righteously. If Jesus were to make a new law of this kind, He would be making yet another checkbox rule for the religious to check off and call themselves righteous. Instead, Jesus was confirming the insufficiency of the prescriptive Law and setting the groundwork for the descriptive law to come in the New Covenant.
It is difficult to get around “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19:6b) and our conclusion may be that divorce is never appropriate. That is a noble thought but it is also one born out of a sense that one can live righteously on their own. You cannot live righteously on your own, that is what Jesus was teaching, laying the groundwork for the freedom He was to bring. Men thought they could live righteously by the Law but it wasn’t living the Law that gave them righteousness, however good that may be. It was believing God and living in faithfulness to God’s Law that God saw and credited to them as righteousness.
Abram believed the LORD, and he credited it to him as righteousness. -Genesis 15:6
This is why “it was credited to [Abraham] as righteousness.” The words “it was credited to him” were written not for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. -Romans 4:22-24
Jesus brought in the New Covenant, and did away with the old, so how are we to see divorce and re-marriage now? By now we know that our law is the Greatest Commandment: Love God and Love Neighbour. How this actually plays out is, of course, complicated. While putting this assertion to a friend, recently, he, who was unfamiliar with this take, was quite rightly highly incredulous and surprised that I would suggest such a thing. I think the hang up lies with understanding just how demanding the New Covenant is. I keep echoing Andy Stanley’s words, your law is simpler but far more demanding, and this is one case where it becomes key to understanding how you might make such a choice.
What God has joined together, no one should separate except for sexual immorality. This is not a command to divorce in the case of sexual immorality. As Jesus said, you were given divorce because you were stubborn. Rather, the ideal is, even in the case of sexual immorality, that you do remain together, forgive, and reconcile, as God forgave our sins and reconciled us through His Son. Even so, the choice to divorce remains available. The question is what governs it and we know the answer is loving God, not separating what He joined, and loving our neighbour, our spouse, as ourselves, extending the love, grace, and forgiveness we would want if we were the one in the wrong.
The answer, then, is that you must think long and hard before making that choice. You should see to it that every option has been tried and that more than enough time has been granted. And even then you should “work out your salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12). Here’s why: Even if you divorce, truly, out of love for God and neighbour, except for sexual immorality, you will be in sin and your only saving grace will be that mercy triumphs over judgment.
Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
-James 2:12-13
So you had best be sure that you have shown the mercy to your spouse, in choosing to separate what God has joined, that you are trusting in under the New Covenant.
Re-marriage after divorce, as Jesus said, except for sexual immorality, is a sin. You will be in sin. But you are not accountable to the Old Covenant Law, you are accountable to Christ and the Greatest Law. If you have truly loved God and neighbour, you fall on the mercy of Christ for the forgiveness of your sins.
Union of man and woman, as God has joined them, is the ideal and all energy should be expended striving to make it work and make it last. We no longer look at divorce and re-marriage as a prescription of if X, except for Y, you are in sin, but instead view the moral choice we are making by the description given in the Greatest Law, love God and love neighbour. You are still in sin but, if you have chosen truly in honour of love for God and neighbour, then you are covered by the New Covenant and the mercy of Christ.
This series will continue. Please check back from time to time, if you’re interested in reading new parts as they become available. The entire series will be made available on the Highlights page under the My Most Important section as each part is published.