The Psalms are talked about as some of the great poetry of English literature and yet I have always wondered if something was lost in translation. Were we hearing what the original hearers were hearing? So, I asked ChatGPT to help English speakers hear it in a new way. Here are those results.
Contents
Psalm 121 As English Poetry
Here is Psalm 121, “I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from?”, rewritten as modern English poetry, translated from the New Living Translation version. You can read the original here.
This version was generated with the prompt “Please adjust the following text to better represent the poetry and what its original hearers would have heard by using English poetic language…”
Behold, I raise my gaze to yonder peaks,
From whence does my salvation spring, I seek?
My refuge dwells with the Almighty Lord,
Maker of the heavens and the earthly sward!
He guides your steps, in His vigilant sight,
Ne’er shall you falter, through the day or night.
The Keeper of Israel, tireless in His keep,
Never dozes off, nor drifts to sleep.
The Lord Himself, a sentinel sublime,
Stands as your shade through the span of time.
No harm from the sun’s blazing, burning ray,
Nor moon’s pale glow as it traverses the way.
The Lord shields, guarding your existence’s flame,
He keeps watch o’er your life, in His name.
With every step, as you come and go,
The Lord’s vigilance, forever aglow.
Psalm 121 As Shakespearean Rhyme
This version was generated with the prompt: “Please adjust the following text to better represent the poetry and what its original hearers would have heard by using English poetic language in the style of English playwright William Shakespeare…”
Upon yon mountains, I do cast my eye,
Pray, doth my aid from such high realms draw nigh?
My aid, it doth proceed from the great Lord,
Who formed the heavens and the earth, in accord.
He shan’t permit thee stumbling steps to take,
The vigilant watcher, He, doth never wake.
Indeed, the one who guards fair Israel’s keep,
Slumbers not, nor doth He in slumber steep.
The Lord Himself, thy guardian, watcheth thee,
As shade, He stands, a sentinel to be.
The sun, by day, shall ne’er thy flesh assail,
Nor moon’s pale glow in night, thy spirit frail.
The Lord doth shield thee from harm’s deadly might,
Thy very life, He watcheth day and night.
In thy sojourns and thy homeward returns,
The Lord’s watchful gaze forever burns.
Psalm 121 As Tolkien-esque High Fantasy
This version was generated with the prompt: “Please adjust the following text to better represent the poetry and what its original hearers would have heard by using English poetic language in a Tolkien-eqsue, Lord of the Rings high-fantasy style…”
Lo, I cast my gaze unto the lofty peaks,
Doth thine aid dwell amongst those mystic peaks?
Nay, my succor springs from the Sovereign divine,
Maker of heavens vast and earth’s design.
He shall not suffer thee to falter, nor stumble in the night,
The vigilant guardian of thy mortal plight.
Yea, He who keeps watch o’er Israel’s chosen kin,
Rests not in slumber’s embrace, nor sleeps within.
The Lord Himself stands sentinel, a shade in thy quest,
Beside thee, stalwart guardian, in arm’s bequest.
The sun, by day, shan’t scorch with its fiery might,
Nor moon, by night, cast shadows in the twilight.
The Lord shields from perils, thy precious life’s domain,
A vigilant sentinel, He guards against bane.
Through the toils of time, as thy footsteps ebb and flow,
The Lord’s unwavering gaze, both now and in eon’s flow.
Psalm 121 As Milton Epic
This version was generated with the prompt: “Please rewrite the following text in the blank verse style of John Milton’s Paradise Lost…”
To yonder peaks, and ponder thus: whence aid
Shall grace this mortal soul in direst need?
From heavenly spheres, my refuge is the Lord,
He, who in sovereign might, both sky and earth,
Brought forth in wondrous birth. He doth not yield
To frailty, nor permit thy footsteps err.
The vigilant Protector of thy days,
He, over Israel, never yields to sleep,
Nor does His watchful gaze in slumber fall.
The Lord Himself, a constant guardian, stands
Beside thy mortal form, a sheltering shade,
Whose vigilance doth thwart the sun’s fierce rays,
And shield thee from the moon’s nocturnal gleam.
He guards thee from all peril, all distress,
Thy very life His steadfast watch maintains.
With ceaseless care, He keeps thy path secure,
From this moment forth and through eternity.
The Original
The versions above were generated based on the original New Living Translation version.
I look up to the mountains—
does my help come from there?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth!
He will not let you stumble;
the one who watches over you will not slumber.
Indeed, he who watches over Israel
never slumbers or sleeps.
The Lord himself watches over you!
The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon at night.
The Lord keeps you from all harm
and watches over your life.
The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
both now and forever.
Flaws
On first impressions, I’m quite pleased with the results. ChatGPT shows a remarkable ability to take a text and adjust it reliably and almost completely faithfully.
I have found one semantic error in the Shakespearean Rhyme version, where ChatGPT for some reason said ‘God never wakes’ rather than saying ‘God never sleeps’, as it gets correct in other versions:
He shan’t permit thee stumbling steps to take,
The vigilant watcher, He, doth never wake.
Another issue I noticed, with the Tolkien-esque High Fantasy version, was the last stanza used the same rhyming word which, one, isn’t really a rhyme and, two, breaks the expectation of readers to read a different word:
Through the toils of time, as thy footsteps ebb and flow,
The Lord’s unwavering gaze, both now and in eon’s flow.
Even when asked for different author’s styles, ChatGPT still used a quite common rhyme and rhythm that wouldn’t necessarily match the author’s typical work. I suspect with some prompt adjustments each author’s true style could be made to come through more.
Impressions
I’d say it’s rather well done, all in all.
While some might say doing this is a travesty to the text and sacredness of the scriptures, I think there’s some merit in experimenting with different ways to introduce the English ear to the beauty of the poetry that we may be missing in translated Psalms.
Updates
Update 2023-10-29: Replaced Milton version with new text generated from a better prompt that better reflects Milton’s Paradise Lost blank verse style.
Credit: Featured Image
Wow – interesting to see how the different styles bring out different ideas.
The different versions give new ways to think of the Psalm – I would not have thought of it.
That’s really quite impressive – it did a really great job of capturing the meaning each time, while still adjusting for style and rhyme (see what I did there? ). It’s far from perfect, but far closer than I expected!
Ya, surprising, eh. I was surprised, too. Thanks for the comment!