Happy Easter

So the LORD God said to the serpent [in the Garden of Eden], “Because you have done this, “Cursed are you above all the livestock and all the wild animals! And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.”

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Sanctus Valentinus

Oh, Saint, can you hear my voice from ages past?
I hope against hope because your voice seems to be the last.

Oh, Saint, may I ask a question?
Will you proffer a suggestion?

Oh, Saint, to your name, thereof,
My question is this, what is love?

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In this hour…

In this hour, I awake to find you awake. I’ve seen you here before, but not from this place. It seems fitting then that I have lost mine. In this hour, even this hour, I know His hand is at work.

Out late, up late, I don’t know which – but concern, and troubling jealously, turn within me, and I can do nothing but let what may inspire my pen to comfort you in some unknown hour to come.

You’re restless, and I worry, but I’m strangely comforted by ills, forgotten, that brought me here to conscious moment, here, in this hour, to see you and plan for your good.

In this hour, I awake to find you awake. I know the many reasons why, so I do what only I can do: I pray to God above, this night, to care and love you through.

In these letters…

In these letters, four, recently have I come to know, lift me up and give me flight when there are many miles left to go.

In these letters, cascading, are your many charms to me, one overlaps another, and weaves and turns a beautiful tapestry.

In these letters, loving, are your many kindnesses to me, strength and care coincide in you, and I am put low upon my knee.

In these letters, keeping, are your many fine points of integrity, protecting for you a hope and future, from Him the Great and the Almighty.

In these letters, trusting, are your many graces to me, that I should be here, in this time and place, in this blessed opportunity.

In these letters, four, your bright smile shines serene, so I grasp these tokens now, reminding me of my love, while I am in between.

Scary Dreams

I woke last Friday morning from a scary dream. I was traveling around the downtown Toronto subway system, trying to make my way around the bottom of the U. At some point, I got out of the subway system and started walking on the street. Nothing was scary at this point. I was just trying to make my way around downtown Toronto. I guess I was walking up the street to the next subway stop when I heard the explosion.

It was that kind of explosion. That deep, thunderous, rolling explosion. The kind that tears through your thin courage veneer and lays bare your soul. In my dream, I was so scared I didn’t turn my head for a while but I kept walking. People were looking, though, all staring, speaking in frantic tones, and looking down at the waterfront.

When I did turn my head, my fear was cemented. A massive warship was broken in charred, mangled pieces. It felt close enough to touch. The world seemed to turn grey, and for some reason it started to get cold. It felt like the end.

At some point in the dream, I started praying to God to save me.

I found myself getting into the back seat of a car with some couple in the front. In the backseat was a long-sleeved sweater, a toque, and pants. I put these on to ward off the cold. I remember feeling whole, bound up, confident that I could deal with the cold, in a much better condition than those frightened people running all around me to deal with what was coming next.

Shortly after this, I must have wakened because I don’t really remember any more of the dream.

When I awoke, that fear was clinging to me. I was happy that it was just a dream but my mind reminded me of a scene in a movie I once saw.

In the film, Constantine, there is a scene of a woman having a vision of Hell by being held under water. When her vision is finished she struggles frantically from the bath and exclaims “I knew it was real! I always knew it was real!” I’ve always remembered this line because it rings true to the feeling in the pit of our stomachs in some certain horrifying moments of our lives.

Having awoken, I was comforted by the knowledge of God’s love for me, love that overcomes fear,

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4:16-18

From this we gain a peace that confounds understanding,

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7

How do you get this peace?

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16

Then, go out and change your ways,

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:8-9

We all know it`s real. We always knew it was real…

In this photograph…

In this photograph, you are falling. Running through long grass, twirling around, you have lost your balance, and the summer sun is lost in the shine of your smile.

This photograph is now a blur, shot in an unprepared instant, a real moment with you. But my memory of that moment is strong. No memento would serve me better than the love my eyes rested upon that day.

You lay on the ground, giddy, dizzy, delirious. I remember wanting, wishing I had laid down beside you in the grass to stare up at the wide open blue sky, to stare into your eyes.

This memory haunts me still, just like every other moment with you.

To do it all over again…

But I can’t go back. No one can go back. There is only this moment in which I can make the choice I really want.

In this photograph, my love is frozen. Many moonless ages have passed, and my heart has warmed. I long, now, for the warmth of that summer sun, to warm your heart to mine, to bring us back together, and to grant that moment to remake the choice I’ve always wanted. The choice for you, for always and evermore.

You are loved

This phrase has stuck with me since I first heard a story, via James MacDonald’s Walk in the Word, about a man who doubted its sincerity and then found out just what it meant in action.

Harvest Bible Chapel in Rolling Meadows, Illinois, close each service, from what I understand, with the words “you are loved.” This simple phrase reflects profoundly the heart of God’s relationship with us and sums up the ministry of the Church. It succinctly focuses in on the basic human need to be loved. If we are to reach the world then we are to love them – really love them. As God loves us, we are to love.

I was pleasantly surprised to find Heather Williams’ You Are Loved from her album on iTunes just after her hit single Hallelujah. This is as close to the perfect musical complement to the sentiment we’re likely to get.

In this embrace…

In this embrace, five addressed five, “If we have found favour in your sight, and if it is pleasing in your eyes, please grant our petition.” And five replied, “What is your wish? It will be given you. And what is your request? Even up to one-fifth of our own, it will be granted.” “If it is favourable in your sight and pleasing in your eyes, take your leisure upon us.” And because the leisure was due, five alighted with five and found the embrace was true.

In this embrace, five solicited five, “If we have found favour in your sight, and if it is pleasing in your eyes, please grant our petition.” And five replied, “What is your wish? It will be given you. And what is your request? Even up to two-fifths of our own, it will be granted.” “If it is favourable in your sight and pleasing in your eyes, take your leisure upon us, and let us tend to you.” And because the touch delighted, and because the leisure was due, five rested with five and found the embrace was true.

In this embrace, five beseeched five, “If we have found favour in your sight, and if it is pleasing in your eyes, please grant our petition.” And five replied, “What is your wish? It will be given you. And what is your request? Even up to three-fifths of our own, it will be granted.” “If it is favourable in your sight and pleasing in your eyes, take your leisure upon us, let us tend to you, and caress your beautiful face.” And because the caress was welcome, and because the touch delighted, and because the leisure was due, five lay with five and found the embrace was true.

In this embrace, five implored five, “If we have found favour in your sight, and if it is pleasing in your eyes, please grant our petition.” And five replied, “What is your wish? It will be given you. And what is your request? Even up to four-fifths of our own, it will be granted.” “If it is favourable in your sight and pleasing in your eyes, take your leisure upon us, let us tend to you, caress your beautiful face, and let us join together to be like this for always.” And because their hearts hung together, and because the caress was welcome, and because the touch delighted, and because the leisure was due, five entwined with five and found the embrace was true.

In this embrace, five entreated five, “If we have found favour in your sight, and if it is pleasing in your eyes, please grant our petition.” And five replied, “What is your wish? It will be given you. And what is your request? Even to all that we have, it will be granted.” “If it is favourable in your sight and pleasing in your eyes, take your leisure upon us, let us tend to you, caress your beautiful face, let us join together to be like this for always, and hold this embrace forever .” And because the embrace was strong, and because their hearts hung together, and because the caress was welcome, and because the touch delighted, and because the leisure was due, five nestled with five and found the embrace was true.

In this moment…

In this moment lie two. Darkness, sweet, lay heavy. Here, in this moment, lies love.

Moonlight graces her tresses and her frame. Shine of sorrow, searing, and of pity, piercing. Their eyes are locked, inclined one to another. Eyes forlorn and longing to long. That time will come and will yet be under many moonless ages. In those receiving eyes, giving, unspeakable, lie unknowns, unrepeatable. The air carries no voice, but word does carry, slowed by the intoxication of the moment.

For all eternity, too long, and not long enough. Fear flutters on the cusp. Wearied will lifts laden lids. And he is utterly undone.

In this moment lie two. Both true and false. Both known and unknown. Both love and loss. Fear willed and sought safety, but unwitting welled deep and strong and true; love, where in this moment lie two.

The Storied Tale of You and I

You captured my gaze
and I entered this haze.

I followed my eyes
and you were my demise.

You gave me your smile
and I longed all the while.

I stood and withstood
and you gave all you could.

You gave me your heart
and I broke it apart.

But I couldn’t understand
til the moment I took your hand.

When in this deep darkness I cry,
it is you I have loved.

This is the beginning:
the storied tale of you and I.